The Marshall's

Better than I had

2011-05-07T00:46:00.000-06:00

First of all let me explain that this is not a pity party on my childhood. I had very good parents who did the best they knew how to and could at the time. With that being said, I want better for my children. I think we all do in one way or another.
I am not a perfect mother. I don't claim to be. But when it's said and done, I want my kids to think they had the best mom ever.
That is why I do what I do, second guess everything, and push through even when I want to throw the towel in, curl into a ball and call it quits.
I want my children to have good...no.... great self esteem. To be leaders and confident enough to take chances, or push through when the whole world is beating them down. To love themselves even if it feels like no one else does.  To know of their value as a son or daughter of God and to know their worth.
I want my children to have a strong spiritual foundation.  To know that there really is a God who loves them unconditionally, who wants what is best for them. For them to be able to trust him ALWAYS and have faith in him. To have a relationship with him, talk to him, and have a desire to follow him, knowing it will bring them true peace and happiness.
I want my children to have opportunities. To be able to see things and experience life; find what they love and do what excites them. I want them to have every opportunity to excel and become the best they can be at something.
I want my children to feel nurtured and unconditional love from me.  (Maybe the most important on my list) I want my kids to know they were the most important thing to me.  To know that their lives and happiness were top priority to me. To never feel like they took a back seat to my needs or wants. To know I have their back 100% of the time and that no matter what I love them ALWAYS. Not because of who they are or what they do, but because they are my child.

Random Event/Thought

2011-04-29T22:00:00.000-06:00

Since I don't blog regularly, I have a bunch of random thoughts running around in my head. These are the top two at the moment.

Random Event
Drew got hit with a baseball bat last night. A good ol' swing right to the gut. Me, being the caring wife that I am, basically told him to buck up and rolled my eyes quite a bit. He was still in a lot of pain today so he made himself a doctors appointment. I asked him what the doctors at the clinic were going to do because they only know how to write prescriptions. Needless to say they were a little worried about his kidneys so they sent him over to the hospital for a cat scan. Thankfully nothing was seriously wrong; just swollen and bruised insides. Enough to get him out of Saturday cleaning (DARN)!

Random Thought
Last weekend Taylor played baseball in Las Vegas. We left the other 3 kids home. Ooohh sweetness! Those were the best 3 days I've had in a long time! And the sad part is that I enjoyed myself so much because my three youngest were home. Does that make me a bad mom? Don't get me wrong. I love my kids, but here's how my days went...
Roll out of bed when Taylor and Drew left for the ball park....Get me, and ONLY ME ready for the day....Casually make my way to the game, stopping at Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast....Carry ONE CHAIR into the ball park, finding a perfect spot to watch the games....Watch the games without passing out all my money to bored children for snacks and worrying that they will get lost or kidnapped.....Go back to the hotel and freshen up for dinner.....Eat a relaxing dinner...Give Taylor money to go hang out with friends.....I am ALONE...Go to a movie on a whim (1 ticket please!!)....Gamble while Taylor sleeps....You get the picture. I got a glimps of what my life will be like when my children are gone and it excites me. Then I feel guilty for being excited. I am reminded of last weeks Modern Family episode (If you don't watch it, shame on you!). Cam and Mitchell have dropped in for a visit at the Dunfeys house. Everything seems to be going wrong and they ask if they've come at a bad time. Claire (aka Courtney) screams out "Come back in 7 years and 5 months when they're gone!) I often find myself thinkig this. So again I pose the question, Am I a bad mother, or do I just need more Vegas getaways?

Our Little Angel

2010-03-11T20:35:00.005-07:00

March 1st marked the 6 year anniversary of the day our little boy entered and exited our presence. His only mission here on earth was to receive a body. What a valiant spirit he must be! I am so honored that I was able to help give him the only thing he needed and that I am able to call him my son.

That is not to say that this experience came without pain. It hurts to bury a child. I didn't like it one bit. It also was the moment that I realized that Heavenly Father was in control and I wasn't. What a hard lesson for me.

Although the rest of the world did not know him I had 8 months of joy, getting to experience him growing and moving and feeling that bond that a mother and her unborn child get to. He was very much alive to me! How I cherish those last days of listening to his heart beat, and feeling each and every move.

I believe that he would have loved to stay here on earth with his family, but knew of the good he could do on the other side. And I KNOW that although I cannot see him, his spirit is very much alive doing important work that he could only do from there.

I am thankful for the experience, I am thankful that my family and I have something to work towards and I am thankful that I have the knowledge that I will see him again.

Stress

2010-02-16T13:25:00.004-07:00

This is my calendar for the month

That is one of the reasons I am stressed.

Addict

2010-02-08T21:22:00.002-07:00

Hi my name is Courtney and I'm a foodaholic. We are not talking good for you food either. I'm not joking. I have a real problem. I really wonder if this is what it feels like for people that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I can't say NO. Every morning when I wake up I tell myself, today's the day that I am going to eat to live, not live to eat. Depending on the day I can last until about 10am, or 12 at the latest. I eat if I am sad. I eat if I am happy. I eat when I am tired. You get the point. If the food is in front of me it will soon be inside of me! I think my brain doesn't tell me when to stop; and I don't stop until my belly won't expend any further. Yes, this is most definitely a problem.

I don't appreciate how much I love food and how much it hates me right back. You should see the things it has done to my body and yet I still can't stop. Hmmm...bad for my body, but still craving it...you know, the more I write, the more I think this is really like drug addiction. Except my teeth aren't falling out, I am just expanding....and my arteries are probably on there way to getting blocked. It is most definitely time for more naked pics......

Child Bribery

2010-02-01T21:05:00.005-07:00

Emma was assigned a talk in primary last week. Previously, anytime she has had to give a talk, scripture, or prayer she would freeze as soon as she got to the podium. Well, I was done speaking for her, so I bribed her yesterday. I told her if she would give her talk I would take her to buy a Dora doll today. Well, it worked fabulous! I was so proud of her! But I had to hold up my end of the deal; so, off to K-mart we went.
When I bribed her I was thinking, I can get a little cheap Dora doll for about $5. Just tiny and cheap. Enough to hold up my end of the bargain. Well after walking through 5 isles of toys tonight, I discovered that you cannot buy a little Dora doll for $5. Try more like $15-$50. So, we had to settle for the $15 one. The one we got talks when you touch her belly and comes with a dog, Perrito (or Burrito as Emma likes to call him).

Here she is telling me, "Just take my picture!"

She took Dora to bed with her tonight. Not sure if that's a good idea since I keep hearing a Spanish speaking voice from Emma's room!

Too Long.....

2010-01-28T16:58:00.025-07:00

Holy Moly! I can't believe it has been almost a whole entire year since a last posted. My new years resolution is to be more dedicated to blogging. I am awful at journaling, so this is my attempt to remember my life, write down my feelings, and give something to my posterity! Since I didn't post really anything in 2009, here is a recap. It is long, so bear with me!

Drew's Grandpa Marshall passed away in February. He was very close to him. His grandpa was his #1 fan and was there supporting him in almost all his sporting events. They shared so many great memories. It was really hard for Drew. Drew also had the opportunity to dedicate the grave. It was his first time and as hard as it was for him; he did a great job.

In March we traveled down to St. George for the annual March Madness baseball tournament. With Taylor and Parker both playing, it got a little busy. They both played really well and we had a great time,

Until.....................

We ended up in the emergency room. Parker broke his nose while playing in Washington and Taylor took a bunt to the eye while playing in Mesquite. Drew and I met at the Dixie Regional Hospital in St. George. What a fun night! But we still got to eat at the Bear Paw (our favorite place for breakfast)!

And Parker's nose did get fixed!!

In May, Taylor graduated from the 6th grade (elementary school)! He is all grown up now!

I survived my first year teaching preschool. It was nice to have the summer off. The kids and I got season passes to 7 Peaks. They really enjoyed it! We also did a bit of traveling for baseball (imagine that?)! Both Taylor and Parker's teams went to Evanston, WY where their teams took 1st in their divisions! Yippee....for the win......and no hospital visits!In July we headed to sunny So Cal. Our first stop was San Diego. The Blaze played in a tournament. They did OK. It didn't help that the kids they played against were all at least a foot taller and were growing mustaches (literally)! We also found time to stop at La Jolla Beach And see an Angels game.

What's the best way to celebrate a loss?? Head off to the happiest place on earth of course! I don't know if it was so happy with slave driver Courtney at the wheel. We got up early so we could be the first in line, had a printed schedule, and stayed up late, but dang it, we saw it all!

In August the kids started school again. Taylor now attends Diamond Fork Jr. High. and is loving the change. It helps that Grandma Harrison is there and has his back all the time! Parker is a big 5th grader and when I say big, I think he is one of the tallest. Mason is in 2nd grade and has the best handwriting. His teacher uses his papers for examples on how to write neatly. Emma started yet another year of preschool. It amazes me how smart she is, but then again she does take after me! :)

Mason turned 8 last year and was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints by his father. It was a special day and he had so many friends and family there to support him. Isn't it great to be 8!

Mason decided to take after his older brothers and started accelerated baseball in the fall of 09. He enjoys being part of a team and is realizing how much work it takes to do well.

Emma also started dance in the fall. She looks forward to Wednesday's! She dances with her cousin Elle (left) and her friend Caylie (right) She is a little shy (not sure where that came from) when it comes to performing, but we are working on her! I don't want my child to be the one that is crying on stage at the recital.

In October Drew and I ran to California for the weekend for my Grandpa Dastrup's 93rd birthday. I was so glad I was able to go down and see him. I love that man! Plus, a lot of the other Dastrup family members were there and it is always so good to see them too. He has gone down hill the last 6 months and needs some help taking care of himself. It is hard for me to see him that way and hard for him because he has been so independent. His children decided to move him from California to St. George with my Aunt Donna. I am glad he is closer to me though! It was hard knowing that was my last time in his house. I have so many memories there. I've spent summers and Christmas's there. It was very much apart of my childhood. I love the poky, thick grass, the squishy carpet in the "formal" living room that was always perfectly vacuumed, the smell of the garage and the bedroom I always stayed in with the pictures of the Dastrup family. It's funny to me that a "thing" is hard to let go of. Why is that? Sometimes I wish life didn't go on and we could just freeze time. I am thankful my dad and mom made such an effort to take me there so I could have all those memories.

Grandpa Dastrup and I "golfing" in the back yard

The House....Thanksgiving and Christmas were good as well. Thanksgiving at Grandma Shirley's is awesome (she does it all)! The kids were spoiled again this year for Christmas, but they knew it. They kept saying "We are so spoiled". Highlights were....Taylor and his cell phone and iTouch , Parker and his new room, Mason and his DSi and Emma and her princess castle with all the princesses!! I am glad they realize how lucky they are. I really want to do a sub for Santa for an entire family this year so they come to love giving more than getting.

The Damage!

Taylor and his iTouch

Parker checking out his new bed (well...the desk part anyway)Mason and his new shoes that make him run faster and jump higherEmma playing Toy Story Mania on the Wii

It was a great year. We have no complaints! However I NEVER want to recap an entire year on my blog again. That was not fun....so......... stay tuned for current updates. I promise I'll try!

What did you say?

2009-02-12T21:07:00.004-07:00

Yes, I suck at blogging!! But I just had to add the following so I can remember it!

#1 - About a week ago I was making lunch for Emma and a little girl that I tend. I was making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The little girl that I tend asked me if they put peanuts in peanut butter. I explained that they made peanut butter out of peanuts and that you could buy crunchy peanut butter with peanuts in it. At that moment I looked at Emma and she had the most disgusted scared look on her face. She said "They don't put peanuts in peanut butter!" shaking her head, and then pointing to her croch "Not like daddys!" Oh yes, that's right, my daughter calls penis's, peanuts! Thank goodness she has eaten a sandwich since then!

#2- A couple of days ago Mason and I were driving back from my mom's house and it was around dinner time. We passed a fairly large home with a backyard that looked like heaven for children. As we passed, Mason said "Mom they have tator tots!" "Tator tots?" I replied. "Is that what they are having for dinner? Can you see in their kitchen?" "No Mom, TATOR TOTS...by their swings!" (Light bulb!!) "Oh, Teeter totters! That would be fun wouldn't it Mason...!"

#3- Yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was stressed! Taylor came home from school and said "Mom you looked stressed" I said "I am stressed, stressed about money." To which he replied, with the most serious look a 12 year old can give "It is cause of Obama? Did he take all your money?" After that, my mood changed for the day.

Now I am just waiting for Parker to give me a random comment. His pelvic thrusts around the house will have to do for now!

Winter Fun

2008-12-23T18:36:00.005-07:00

Today I promised to take the kids sledding. I still had some last minute Christmas shopping, errands, and a doctors appt. before we could go. After taking care of all the above I realized that Emma, Taylor and myself actually needed clothes and or boots to sled in! So after spending a crap load of money on "warm clothes" we were finally off! Unfortunately at this point it was 4:30, so there was only 30 minutes left of daylight However, it turned out to be the best time to go. It was not super busy, we got to watch the sun set, we saw the Festival of Lights turn on and were able to hear the Christmas music playing, and to top it off it started to sprinkle snow. What else could you ask for to get you in the Christmas mood? Here are a few pictures I got before my camera died. Good times!!

Rick and EmmaEvie, Mason, JD, Bennett, Parker, Taylor R., Taylor H.Mason and JDDrew and I (yes, the white dots are snow!)

Until we meet again....

2008-12-17T21:59:00.004-07:00

My Grandma Apodaca passed away on December 6, 2008. She was my mom's mom. When someone dies you tend to reflect on things you could have done differently while they were still here. She lived in California and we moved away when I was still small. Although I didn't live close to her the majority of my life, I wish I would have made more of an effort to really know her. The things I do remember about her were her happy smile, her genuine concern for her family, and her love for genealogy. Still, I feel I should have known more, been a better granddaughter, and treated her the way that I know she cared about me. She had a lot of history stored in her little brain. Even though she is not here anymore I hope to take the time to listen to the stories from the people that do know them.

I am glad I was able to attend the services and it gave me an opportunity to see family I hadn't seen in many years. It is always sad to me that it takes a death in the family for us all the make the effort to see one another.

Death is also a time when we contemplate what we are really grateful for. I am so thankful for my own mother and the example she has been to me. I am grateful that she has a testimony of the gospel and helped me build mine. I am thankful that she taught me to always put myself in the other person's shoes and to be of service to your fellow men.

Even though we are sad when we lose someone, I am thankful to know that we will see them again and that this is not the end.

My Baby is 3!!

2008-12-17T14:35:00.005-07:00

On Friday December 5th Emma turned 3! I cannot believe how time flies! It has been so fun to experience a little girl in our family, however, Drew might disagree! She is feisty, sweet, very independent, a girly girl, but not afraid to get dirty or be tough like her brothers.

The very first present she opened was a new skirt. She was so excited that she put it on with her jammies..

Drew and I took her to lunch. Her request...Chili's. She likes their chips and salsa and queso! After that we took her to Build-A-Bear. That was our first experience there. Boy am I glad that Drew won $50 in gift certificates to the mall! I could seriously lay down some cash there! I want to build my own bear!

When we got there, Drew was trying to talk her into getting the Hello Kitty bear???cat?? whatever....that was his favorite. He skipped right over the Hannah Montana bear. When I showed her the bear, there was no going back. Her mind was set! I even let her put the little thing in the arm that sings "Best of Both Worlds". Emma was so nice to sing it for us all the way home! Poor Drew...

Later that night we celebrated with cake and ice cream. G&G Marshall, Shane & Kerri, Rick & Ali and G Ottesen all came. I think she had a great day! I feel so blessed to have her in my life. We love you Emma!

Girl's Trip 2008

2008-11-23T23:04:00.005-07:00

Every year a group of me and my girlfriends have an overnighter. Usually we go to Park City, but this year we decided to go to St. George. What a memorable trip! I love that we have been friends for so long. I don't know what I would do without them.

We ate some good food, talked, laughed a lot, and shopped!! Here we are at the mall after a few hours. Yes, people were looking at us like we were crazy while we posed for this picture. That is the great thing about having such good friends, we don't care what other people think!

Part of what made this trip so memorable (besides all the pictures we took) was that we had a little furnace problem. It wasn't working! And let's face it, we are girls and girls get cold easy! So we were on a quest to fix the furnace...After all we are a group of talented young ladies..aren't we..?? We had searched almost everywhere to find the furnace with no luck, but we were not giving up!! The only place we had not looked was the attic. Well, what do a group of old cheerleaders do when we there is no ladder and 10 foot ceilings...we stunt of course! We were laughing so hard I am surprised that no one peed their pants or dropped Holly! She was such a good sport to be tossed in the attic.

We were so proud of ourselves.....however, we did not fix the furnace.....It was a little cold, but we survived and have a great story to remember now! Thanks for such a great time friends. I love ya!

Nothing New

2008-11-13T20:07:00.004-07:00

I have no new news....everyone says I need to update this, but I have nothing to report on! I did however join facebook! You can find me there!

Halloween was fun! Here's some pics!

Conditioner or Soap???

2008-10-08T13:48:00.002-06:00

Parker (my very intelligent child) was taking a shower the other night. He was taking a while so I went in and told him to hurry it up. I asked him if he had washed his body and he said he had with that (pointing to the shower floor). So I looked at that and it appeared to be my bottle of conditioner. I said "you washed it with that?" He said "yeah the conditioner". So I informed him that conditioner was to make your hair soft not your body clean. As I walked away I thought, I wonder how long he has used conditioner to clean his body. As I was thinking this, he called out to me, "Wait! Does that mean that the shampoo you bought me "with conditioner" isn't soap either?" "Yeah, that's what it means Parker. How long have you washed your body with conditioner?" I asked. Ever since you got me the "new" shampoo. So my child might stink, but at least he will be silky smooth!

Turbo Jam

2008-09-28T20:56:00.002-06:00

So I finally started Turbo Jamming. I have only had the DVD's for about 3 months or so! I really think I will love it! I have to get back into shape. My body has really gone downhill the last few years and it depresses me. I miss being healthy. I love to work out, I just HATE healthy food. I'd rather be anorexic than eat vegetables. I do find that I have less time to snack now that I teach preschool. Hopefully these new workouts will do the trick! Trista swears by them! I will keep you posted...

Take me out to the ball game

2008-09-28T20:42:00.003-06:00

So anyone who knows us, knows that our family plays ball. I don't really know if you can count me as one who plays though??? Anyway, Taylor and Parker are both on accelerated teams. Taylor plays for the Blaze and Parker plays for the Sugar Kings. We have a lot of fun going and watching them learn to succeed, but I must admit that by the time fall hits I am done with ball parks! Taylor had a great day Saturday and hit really well. Parker is trying to fix his swing so he is going through a "learning curve". Regardless of how they do, I am still proud of them for being dedicated enough to play for a teams that expect a lot.

Taylor (#6)

Parker (#9)

Monthly Update

2008-09-20T22:56:00.008-06:00

OK, so I told most people to check back monthly for updates on my blog....as you can see, I was not kidding. I can't figure out if I am really busy or just terrible at managing my time? Anyway, there have been a few blog worthy things that have happened so bear with me as I explain them all.

Taylor decided to run for student council this year. The faculty nominated him as one of the 12. He was very excited! This meant that he would have to do a campaign with posters and give a 1 minute speech to the entire elementary school. We had a lot of fun doing this together. I am so thankful to live in a day where we have the Internet with so many ideas right at my fingertips!

Here he is with the posters we did.

Here he is showing the students how he has "enough strength" (notice the 20lb weight) to do all the things he talked about. During the "weight lift" we played "Eye of the Tiger"!!

The students voted right after the speeches but Taylor did not get enough votes for President, VP, or Secretary. However, he still gets to be a part of the student council. It was such a good experience and I was so proud of him! He is a great kid. One more little note about this experience.....While Taylor was practicing his speech Parker informed me that he would like to run for treasurer. I said "Why, because you want to control the money?" He says, " I want to make it so the cheerleaders don't have to ride the school bus with everyone else, I'll make it so they get a limo." Where in the heck did this child come from? He seriously keeps me laughing!

Next Item...The same day Taylor presented his speech it was Grandparents Day for Mason. Thank you mom for coming and supporting my child! Since it was Friday, I was able to go to. I love to see the look on my kids faces when they notice that we are there to support them. It makes me feel like I do something right!! He did such a good job singing his songs and doing his artwork.

Posing for the camera.

Showing Grandma Ottesen his art work and interviewing her

Mason with his teacher Ms. Powell. Taylor had her for 1st grade too and we love her!!

Last Item!! I promised the kids that I would let them have a sleepover last night with their cousins Taylor and Bennett. The night went a little something like this...Drew and I had a wedding to go to so we decided to make a little date night of it. We went to dinner and the wedding; meanwhile the kids were at Rick and Ali's. We got back around 9:00 or so. When we walked in Emma had literally pooped her pants (poor pregnant Ali) so she was in the tub. Drew took the older boys and went home. We got Emma and Ali's bathroom all cleaned up and I went to leave and my car had died (thank you for leaving the lights on children). Anyway, we get that all taken care of and we finally get home. Well the boys were already outside playing their favorite night game (Fugitive) so I get the other kids all set up with sleeping bags, movie, etc. Then I get a call from Taylor begging me to come play the game with them and the other mom who is so nice to take them all the time. At this point it is 10:45 or so Let me explain the game a little. We drive them to the school or nearby park and drop them off, we drive back to our house and then back to the drop off site. The goal is for them to make it back to "home base" with out getting caught, or else they have to jump in the car with us. How sad that I kept thinking, I wonder how much gas I am wasting?? I actually had a lot of fun with all the kids and the other mom. A few times we had some rough encounters with people getting angry that the kids were sneaking around their houses so late and I am sure it didn't help that we were screaming that there were caught! Then there was a few bratty teenage girls that I wanted to pop in the face. Why do they think they are so cool? Let's just say I didn't say some nice things to her and I told the kids in the car not to tell their parents what I had said or their parents wouldn't let them come any more. Then the last time we dropped them off at the school we see this sign

I really hope that someone else changed it because it makes me nervous that these people teach my children!

So we finally get done a little after midnight and I told the other boys that were with us that they could come sleep over too. They were all excited. So I had 8 children at my house last night. I could not imagine if they had all come out of my womb! I woke up this morning and made them pancakes and while I was doing it Taylor went to get the camera, because it was "so cool" that he had all his friends over. Here are some of his pics.

The "older" boys

Mason, Bennett and Emma (nice bed head!)

Me making my fabulous Bisquick pancakes!

All in all it was a good time. I will try really hard to update this a little more frequently so that you people who care to read this don't have to read a novel each time!

Back to School

2008-08-31T23:51:00.004-06:00

So, like I said I am starting a preschool. It has been a lot of work to start from the ground up (finishing the basement, advertising, decorating, planning lessons, etc.). Drew has been very supportive and has helped out a lot. Thanks to Rick, Ali and Mike too! I love you guys! Classes will start this week. Needless to say I am a little nervous. Not because I don't have confidence in myself, but because it is something new. Back to school night was last week. It went really well. The kids are darling!! I am very excited to start this new adventure and hopefully my business will continue to grow.

Classroom angle 1

Classroom angle 2

Cubbies

The Reading Tree

They're all gone.....

2008-08-28T19:24:00.000-06:00

OK, I am really new at this blogging thing, but here goes. I recently decided to quit my job and start a preschool out of my home. It has been so great to be home with Emma as well as getting the boys off to school and being here when they get home. Anyway, today I was downstairs and I could hear Emma and this little girl that I watch (Caylie) playing in her room. Everything sounded like they were being good little girls and then all the sudden I hear Emma say "Mom, they're all gone!" I got up to see what she was talking about and here she comes down the stairs with band aids all over her legs. She won't let me take them off either! I think I will give her a good long bath and then it won't be my fault when they come off! Lesson learned....Keep band aids of out of toddlers reach! That's all for now because the little darling just walked outside without her shirt on and told the neighbors she has her bobbies out! I love her!